So this is my first entry of 2008… as I typed that I’m astonished at the fact that we are in the year 2008. Eight years since I’ve graduated high school and two since I got my second bachelors degree. Each year seems to pass faster than the last, but I think when the new year begins we all stop and reflect (at least for a moment) on the last. What did we accomplish the year before? Did we reach our goals? Did our New Year’s resolution stick around longer than 2 weeks? Were we kind to our families… were we kind to strangers: the poor, the sick, and the hungry? Did we at least try to follow our hearts and not forget about God?

All these questions are running through my mind. For some of the questions I’m objective: yes or no answers. Others I want to quickly make excuses… some justifiable and others I’m gotta stop myself and say, “Who are you kidding Emma!?!”

So what can I say about 2007. Well, for one thing a lot of it sucked.

My great grandmother (Abuela Bella) of a 100 1/2 years of age past away on January 18th. Her death was not a quick one… a passing in the night… something she deserved for being such a good human being. She was over a month in the hospital with oxygen masks and all that. It was amazing at how her mind even in the worst of her treatments was still quick witted and strong. I asked her “Abuela please try to put your part into getting better” and she nodded at me saying and her eyes told me she was going to hang on til God called her. She seemed to be getting so much better after awhile. She hugged me. I remember that hug. It was so strong… I couldn’t believe how she could pull me to her and hug me for all I was worth. I prayed and prayed… our whole family did. At her funeral I was distraught, and as the priest spoke about her I asked my grandmother for a small miracle to prove she’d always be with me… to prove she was with me at that moment. The miracle actually occurred right as I walked down the steps the church. My estranged aunt (who pretty much acts, or actually does, hates me) came up to me and hugged me. She told me she loved me. Amazingly enough that was exactly what I asked my Abuela for during the mass. I wanted my aunt to acknowledge my existance, my suffering… shit, that I was just there. She did for the first time in years and although I know it might just be hypocritcal at best for her to come hug me… it still happened… and it’s exactly what I needed at that moment.

That leads me to one of the best things I’ve learned this year: Forgiveness. This past year has been one of second chances and new beginnings. I learned to accept my faults and say I’m sorry. One of the most crucial lessons in life. I also started talking to family members I’ve tried to forget. The cousins and aunts/uncles I haven’t spoken to for this reason or that. I’ve learned to forgive and forget any transgressions others have done onto me… and move foward…  cautiously, but nonetheless onward & upward. The friends I know are true I’ve kept close, while those I know aren’t right to me, well, I kicked those to the curb and have no regrets.

I’m baggage free in 2008 and boy am I happy to start fresh. I know things might not come out as planned, but I’ve decided that the bad times are just as good as the great ones… because out of each comes a lesson I must learn. Each shapes the person I am and will come. Each life experience is one I can share with others & help them in some way. I can’t wait for this new year because “8″ is one of my lucky numbers & I’m ready for luck to shine on me at last.